Last week when I was scrolling through my Time Hop, I ran across a bunch of pictures that looked like the beginnings of my blog posts. Sure enough, I went back in time and realized that one year ago today, I decided to bare my soul to all of you on a weekly (sometimes bi-weekly) basis. Before this blog, I never thought I could have the courage to spill my guts and admit many of my flaws on a public stage. I had just become a mom who was struggling with the emotions related to postpartum, anxiety and issues with nursing. I was on a journey to find my new normal, cope with the rapid changes parenthood brings – to my marriage, my body and my self esteem. I knew that I needed an outlet to allow myself to maintain my sanity, and remain true to who I am. This year has flown by, and it has been filled with so much more than I ever anticipated.
Life is so far from what I expected it would be in both good ways, and ways that have forced me to be strong.
Being Dane’s mom, and watching him grow up so quickly has been incredible and I’ve loved being able to share updates and pictures with you guys. I’ve learned a hell of a lot about patience and why “going with the flow” works better for us than trying to remain in constant control. We’re not the perfect parents, and we’ve learned that too… but the bottom line is we’re doing our best and our little boy is growing up in a home SO full of love.
A year ago when I started this, I never knew how much I would end up needing it. I didn’t envision spending the holidays grappling with the possibility of losing my dad. I honestly didn’t even know if I would find the strength to write about it all. But in the end, I’m so glad I did. The support my family has received over the past months in regards to my dad’s cancer diagnosis and often roller coaster-like battle has been overwhelming. Writing blog posts and sharing our journey has been SO hard, but very therapeutic, and most of all, honest. I’ll continue to lean on my blog-fam for that support as we continue down that path. So thank you for that.
I am so far from perfect, it’s not even funny. I think there is something really empowering in talking about the imperfections and bringing a spotlight to the messy and crazy, in a world of picture perfect blogs and Instagram accounts. The truth is that the past year has really shown me that I don’t care what people think of me, my parenting style or the gray hairs that are growing in more and more rapidly. I’ve shared pieces of my life that I would never have imagined I could be brave enough to put out there. I truly appreciate those of you who have stuck with me and continue to read. All of the kind words, messages and shared experiences I’ve heard mean the world to me.
Cheers to one year, and hopefully many more! xo